Non-Fiction, Randomness

The Plight of the 40-Something Female

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                                  Photo Credit

Getting reacquainted with the loving act of self-care

We’re exhausted. Many of us are overweight. I know I am. A good amount are mothers. Also me. Some of us are already caretakers for ailing parents. We’re holding down jobs and households and sometimes, if we’re lucky, holding it together.

As women, we are often seen as the cornerstone of our families.

And maybe all those things go hand in hand with our forties and fifties. Perhaps we’re given the daunting tasks because we have historically been able to produce. As women, we are often seen as the cornerstone of our families. The glue that holds things together.

This all works wonderfully. Only when it doesn’t.

What happens when the stuff that’s used to keeping all this shit together is stretched so thin you can see it for what it really is? That it’s porous. And imperfect. There are scars and stories melded within this messy, semi-transparent substance. Those things which haven’t killed us.

But they’re a part of us. And as the saying goes, they make us stronger.

Sometimes, though, we need a break. Time to rejuvenate and heal ourselves. A space to soothe our souls.

If I’m being honest, yesterday was more a wallowing in self-pity sort of day. Today, I’m determined to pull myself up out of bed and face the world. In fact, I am actually doing that right now. As I write this, I’m sitting in a coffee shop. Granted, it’s in an out-of-the-way corner and I’ve somehow managed to luck into the time of day where most people are out doing other things, but it’s a start.

If my best friend were in my shoes, I’d tell her she needs to take care of herself first. That she can’t be at her best for others until she’s feeling better herself. Why are we so hesitant to treat ourselves the same? To show our own selves the same level of care and compassion that we give others?

I think I’ll go shopping for a new top next. One that makes me feel beautiful simply because I deserve to feel that way and less because facing a closet full of clothes that no longer fit, even one more morning, seems too much. I may visit the library or bookstore. Regroup and re-center. Today, I’ll make time just for me.

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